H@ppy

There is a difference between not hurting anymore and being happy. A middle of the road so to speak. Not complaining but not testifying.

 

What’s worse is having been happy and knowing what it feels like but not having been in that place for too long.

 

You feel forsaken. Traveling down a long road...it’s not raining, but there is a dark cloud. Not so dark that you can’t see, no, on the contrary, you can see the sun in the distance. You can’t feel it’s warmth, but you long for it.

 

You want to run towards it (the sun, warmth, happiness) but like that ever elongating hallway in a horror movie, it never seems to get any closer.

 

How long are you going to follow that path? How long has it been that you’ve been running towards the sun but getting nowhere?

 

It’s not magic or luck or coincidence. He told you you were on the wrong path. You chose to listen. You changed paths and suddenly the road shortened and the sun was upon you. You are now basking in the light and warmth of the sun. Happy.

 

Congratulations. Testify.

 

SURPRISE!

A month's worth of planning culminated in one happy ending, well, not a true happy ending, which I wanted to give but I was too tired. Sorry excuse of a good girlfriend that I am.

The worst part of the whole thing is that I couldn't tell my love what I was up to. Duh, that is the whole point of a surprise, but there were certain happenings that I wanted to share when they occurred. I realized then that I tell him almost everything. So he would ask, 'what did you do today?' 'uh, nothing'. I hate lying.

BUT, I had so much fun planning for him. I couldn't wait to see (well, hoped for) the smile on his face. There were a few obstacles. A few times when I thought all I had done up to that point was for nothing, even up to that day. But it went down and the smile was there and that made everything SO worth it all.

Some people don't take surprises well. I wasn't sure if he would be that type, I was nervous, but he smiled. It seemed genuine. I needed to keep checking, to make sure it wasn't just for the audience.

I love him. I wanted to do more. He does so much for every one in his life. I just wanted his day to be one big continuous smile. There were a few frowns, hopefully the smiles outweighed them.

The worst part was having to get up in the middle of the night, the best part of waking up is waking up next to him.

Rescue

So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her? She rescued him right back! - Pretty Woman

The prince climbed up the tower to rescue the princess, BUT the prince was afraid of heights. Once he made the gesture of rescuing her, he fought the bad guys and the dragon and made it to the top, she gives him what he needs - to be rescued right back. He closes his eyes and she leads him to the elevator, so they can get back to the ground floor.

They are like two puzzle pieces, jointly fit together. Where one has an empty space, the other fills it. They don't have the same needs, but are able AND WILLING to fill each other's.

Allowing yourself to be rescued is the tricky part. It means admitting to yourself that there is a need and that you can't or shouldn't do it alone. Alone is a bad word. God doesn't even like that word. Adam was alone and it displeased God.

Everyone needs someone. I'm learning that. Thank God I have finally found the right teacher.